Dear ADHD.

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. Mostly positively but sometimes not. I have known you all my life but not by name. You are the fire in my belly and the creativity in my mind. You are behind my emotional rollercoaster, my struggle with time, and the reason I struggle to be still. You’re also the reason I hate to be told ’No’ and why I’m always looking to find my own path – which is usually winding!

It is a relief to know you. Before that I just felt broken and useless. Capable yet chaotic. Life was hard and I felt I only had myself to blame. It went on like that for 41 years before you were revealed to me. I was so sad and mad when I first saw you. I grieved for all that could and should have been if only I had known you were there.

10% of my life later, I have learned to accept you, appreciate you and even love you. I recognise the joy and excitement that you bring to my life. I know you are the reason my head is full of ideas and my heart is full of passion.

You are difficult to live with. The minute I’m not paying attention to you, you play up and create havoc. But on the good days, which are more plentiful now than ever before, you light up my life and make the impossible possible.

Everything is going to be okay. We are going to have a good rest of our lives together. Thank you for being a part of me.

Lots of love 
Jannine. ?

One Response

  1. I understand myself better than before, before, I couldn’t understand why people reacted differently to me… wasn’t I the same as everyone else?

    Now I know I am different, I try to positively exploit that difference, I just wish people could ‘see’ there is a reason why I behave differently, that they would accept me as I am. I need a few minor accommodations, but I shouldn’t have to battle for them and ‘justify’ my needs.

    In a perfect world… would I get rid of my ADHD… maybe, but it has made me who I am. That eccentric, creative, whirlwind, the person who is determined to make at least one person a day smile, even if the humour is self deprecating, the person who defends people with a passion, cares deeply and loves and protects every living creature, the woman who bought her first flat at 19 years of age, who has an amazing husband of 16 years. A woman who is generous of heart and proud of what she has achieved.

    Proud? Yes, I earned that right, because for me, every step has been hard fought, with grit and determination in the face of discrimination, intolerance and bullying.

    If I can do it… so can anyone else reading this, it may not be easy, it may not be pretty, it may take a lot of time and a lot of tears, but you can win at life! x x x

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *